


After What She'd Done (working title)

by mysticweeb



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: And I hate her, Angst, But she also needs to take responsibility for her actions, Canon Divergent, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon Queer Relationship, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Catra (She-Ra)-centric, Catra needs love, Catra-centric, Catrademption, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, He ain't wrong, Kyle Rights 2020, Kyle thinks Catra is badass, Lonnie is so underrated, POV Catra (She-Ra), Past Abuse, Pining, Self-Hatred, Shadow Weaver is a bitch, This will be sad, and i love her, i'll probably add more later, incomplete work, maybe I'll make Catra and Kyle a brotp in this, post-S3, probably, redemption arc, who knows - Freeform, y'all are sleeping on such a queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2020-07-31 07:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20111731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticweeb/pseuds/mysticweeb
Summary: Catra's heart was broken, but her mind was made up.Somehow, she was going to bring Angella back.**Basically a Catrademption fic in which Catra tries to bring Angella back to make up for her actions in s3.





	1. It Was Always Adora

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first full-length fic, so bear with me, please. I sort of just started writing with no idea where I was going with it, so who knows where this will go?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy your angsty Catrademption!

There were so many reasons that Catra was standing at the edge of Bright Moon, but not least of all was Adora.

It was always Adora.

Catra couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't stop her anger and want and need from picking the same target. A target she could never, ever have, not after what she'd done.

Deep down, Catra knew that it wasn't really Adora who made her miserable. It wasn't Adora whom she hated. It was herself. All her life, it had been drilled into her mind that she was worthless, nothing compared to Adora. She'd told herself she despised Adora for it, when really she loathed herself. Catra couldn't let Adora win, because then Shadow Weaver would be right about her—she would be nothing but a worthless failure. Unwanted, unneeded, and unloved.

She couldn't let Adora win, because then Shadow Weaver would win, and, worst of all, the part of her that despised herself would win.

She couldn't let Adora win, so she tried to destroy the whole world, and herself with it.

There was no one outside the castle that night. Catra wondered if anyone would realize she was there.

Catra had heard about what had happened to Queen Angella, all because of her. A horrible part of her had been almost glad, because at least then she had done something to hurt the rebellion. To hurt Adora. To hurt Shadow Weaver. To prove to herself that she wasn't a complete failure.

But deep down, Catra's heart was broken for Angella, for Adora. She knew what it was like to lose someone. And as much as she told herself she hated Adora, she didn't want to believe the pain she had put her through.

Catra had thought she had nothing to lose, but she was wrong. She had lost Adora's faith in her, Adora's hope that maybe, just maybe, she could turn herself around and join the side of good.

She had lost Adora's love.

Catra could pinpoint the exact second that anything good and loving Adora felt for her had disappeared. 

"You made your choice. Now live with it!"

Catra had felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. She was shocked and terrified and broken into a thousand pieces. She could never recover, could never be whole again. And she never deserved to be.

Adora hated her. Was there anyone she cared about who didn't now?

Scorpia. Catra felt a wave of remorse pass through her as she remembered what she'd done. Pointed the taser at Scorpia. "You want to be next?"

Catra figured that Scorpia had finally realized how undeserving of love she was, and would stop giving herself to her. _Good,_ Catra thought. _She deserves better._ But she was sad about it too. She really had cared about Scorpia, despite how she acted. Maybe even loved her a little. Not the way she loved Adora, but love nonetheless.

Suddenly, Catra sensed Adora's presence. She didn't know how, but she knew Adora was close. And sure enough, soon she saw her.

Catra could make out Adora's expression of guilt and sadness, tears running down her face. She felt like a monster.

Adora had firmly placed the blame on Catra, but of course she still felt guilty about Angella's sacrifice, Catra realized. She was too selfless not to.

Adora turned in Catra's direction and froze. Her sadness turned to anger, eyes narrowing. She pulled out the sword, ready to fight.

Catra didn't move. She felt wetness on her cheek and realized that she'd been crying. She hastily wiped the tears away. She couldn't be vulnerable.

"Catra," Adora said coldly, and it was nothing like how she had addressed Catra before. Sure, there had always been anger in her voice when she was fighting Catra, but nothing like this. This was pure hatred. "The Horde sent you here, didn't they?"

It wasn't really a question, Catra thought, but she answered anyway.

"No, Adora. They didn't." The words were soft, and while she tried to sound emotionless, hints of her pain seeped through.

"How dare you show your face here?" Adora said. Her voice was dangerously low. Again, not really a question.

Catra sighed sadly. She didn't know what to say. She had a thousand other reasons to be there, but they all paled in comparison to why she was really there.

"I wanted to see you."

There was a pained silence. Adora's eyes gave nothing away. Usually Catra knew exactly what she was thinking, and she felt lost without the intuition.

"You were right. Of course you were right," Catra continued. She couldn't stop. Not now that she'd started. "None of this is your fault. I'm the one who pulled the switch. It's me. I'm the one to blame."

Adora's face was expressionless. Catra ignored her cold demeanor and kept going.

"I hate myself, Adora, and I've always felt like I was worthless." Catra was crying now. She tried to stop herself, but the tears just kept flowing. And so, for once, she let them. "I thought if I let you win, Shadow Weaver would be right about me. I really would be nothing. I couldn't... Shadow Weaver chose you. Over me. She left me for you, and I... I just, I can't take it, Adora. She always loved you. It was always you."

"You're wrong."

Catra was shocked into silence by Adora's words. The latter was looking at the ground, tears rolling down her face. The anger was gone, replaced by a bitter sadness.

"She doesn't love me, Catra. She never has. She acted like she did, when I was perfect and obedient. But she didn't really."

They were both silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Adora."

The apology may have seemed like it was only about what Adora had just said, but they both knew it was for so much more. It was for everything.

"It's not enough. Not after what you did."

"I know."

Catra began to leave. She turned back to Adora, and said softly, "I know I'm beyond forgiveness. I just wanted you to know. That I'm sorry."

Catra had walked around ten feet more when she heard Adora call, "Wait!" She turned around.

"You... never mind." Adora shook her head. Whatever she had been about to say, Catra knew she would likely never hear it. "Never mind. Just... don't come back here. I... I don't want to see you again. Not unless, well, not unless you find a way to bring the Queen back."

Catra quickly turned around again so Adora wouldn't see her tears begin to flow again. She felt like her heart had been smashed yet again. Nevertheless, she was beginning to realize what she had to do.

Catra's heart was broken, but her mind was made up.

Somehow, she was going to bring Angella back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Please drop a comment or kudos if you want me to continue-- the more people I know are invested in this fic, the more invested I'll be!
> 
> Also let me know of any other content you'd be interested in seeing-- it can be She-Ra related or not, as I'm in a lot of fandoms.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for your support, dear reader. Take care of yourself. 
> 
> -R


	2. Guess What? It's Kyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is pretty short (and doesn't have great pacing), but worry not! I have lots planned for future chapters, including some appearances from one of my favorite underrated characters.
> 
> Enjoy!

Catra had been walking for quite a while when the reality of her decision really hit her. How on Etheria was she going to bring Angella back?

Catra had no knowledge of how to get to a place between realities, and the only person she knew who might-- well, she'd had her sent to Beast Island. She hoped Scorpia hadn't really done it, but even if she hadn't, Entrapta would still hate her, rightfully so.

Entrapta. Catra was suddenly reminded of how careful she had to be. She'd fled before Hordak realized she had lied about Entrapta’s betrayal, but it was only a matter of time before he learned the truth, if he hadn't already. Catra didn't want to think about what would happen if she was caught.

She wondered where Scorpia was now. Maybe she was still with the Horde, or maybe she'd gone back to the Crimson Waste. Either way, Catra doubted she'd want to see her. Not now.

But there were only so many places Catra could go, and the Crimson Waste was one of them. Whether Scorpia was there or not, maybe her gang would still be loyal to her. It crossed her mind to wonder where “Kyle” and the other had gone when she'd pulled the lever. Maybe they were with Scorpia.

It didn't really matter where anyone was, Catra supposed, because the only really safe place she could go at this point was the Crimson Waste. If she were too close to Bright Moon, she could be found by the Rebellion, and if she were too close to the Fright Zone, she could be found by Hordak. It was her only choice.

Catra kept walking. As hard as she tried to keep her mind from wandering to Adora, she couldn't. She thought about Adora’s face when she had seen her, so full of hatred that she could hardly take it. Catra deserved it, of course, but it didn't help the pain.

“Catra! Hey, Catra!” a voice called to her suddenly.

Catra sighed in irritation. Not only did the words make her think of Adora and the undeniable chemistry they had had _before, _but they came from one of the last people she wanted to see.

“Kyle. What are you doing here?” Catra asked, exasperated.

“I followed you. When you left the Horde,” Kyle answered, breathing heavily as he tried to keep up with her.

“Why?”

“Well, I mean, you're pretty badass. Also, Rogelio and I weren't really working out, and no one likes me back there.”

“No one likes you here, either,” Catra remarked, but there was no venom in the words. It was just a tired habit to make fun of him.

Kyle sighed. “I know. But I heard what Adora said to you, and--”

Catra whipped around, her eyes narrowed.

“You were _eavesdropping_?” she snarled

“No! I mean kinda. Well, I guess, yeah.”

Catra felt dizzy. Kyle had seen her vulnerable. No one could see her vulnerable. He had seen her cry, he had seen her weakness, he had seen how broken she was.

“Get the hell away from me,” she growled. She spun around and began to run, trying to keep herself from screaming into the night because_ someone knew, someone knew that she was broken, and it was Kyle of all people, and how could she ever live with it?_

“No, wait!” Kyle called, but Catra ignored him. She ran until she was out of breath, and then she fell against a tree and curled in on herself.

It was quiet for a long time, but then Catra heard a shuffling of feet and a soft humming. She looked up to see an old woman ambling through the woods. The woman turned to Catra and adjusted her glasses.

“Have you seen my Mara dearie?” she asked. Catra shook her head. The woman shook her head. “That's too bad. You two need each other, you know. Well, tell her Madam Razz says hello when you see her again, all right?”

“Okay, I will,” Catra said to humor her. Madam Razz nodded happily and continued walking through the forest. Catra slumped down against the tree again. She only meant to close her eyes for a moment, but when she opened them, she saw the sun rising in the sky.

“Fuck,” she muttered. It would be much easier for the Rebellion or the Horde to find her in the light of day.

“We should get going,” Kyle said nonchalantly. Catra whipped her head around to see him casually leaning against a nearby tree, eating an apple. He reached in his pocket and offered one to Catra. “Want one?”

“Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?” she snarled.

Kyle put his apple-filled hands up.

“Woah, Catra, calm down. All I heard was the part about you not going back to Bright Moon unless you had Angella with you.”

Catra relaxed. Maybe Kyle didn't know how much pain she was in after all. She'd just have to do an expert job of hiding her emotions from now on, just like she had before.

“Oh. Well,” she said awkwardly. “I'll take the apple.”

Kyle put his hands down and handed it to her. She gulped it down quickly, throwing the core in Kyle’s direction. He dodged it. _I guess that's progress_, Catra thought.

“Let’s go,” Catra ordered, and Kyle finished his apple quickly before chucking the core next to Catra’s.

“Where to?” he asked.

“The only place I can go. The Crimson Waste.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support. I definitely will have to be invested in this fic now.
> 
> Feel free to request any characters you want to see in this fic, especially underrated ones/ones who don't get enough screen time (one great girl is for sure coming up soon...)
> 
> Take care of yourself.
> 
> -R


	3. Kyles and Lonnies and Cats, Oh My!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies!
> 
> I'm sorry for how long this update took.  
(Though truthfully, I just banged this out in the last hour and the half-- I was just avoiding my duties the rest of the past week.)
> 
> Enjoy!

The journey to the Crimson Waste was largely without talking. Kyle tried to strike up conversation several times, but Catra was far from receptive.

She was thinking about Scorpia. Again. Would she be in the Crimson Waste? Catra felt a pang of guilt as she realized that she had no idea where Scorpia was likely to be if it wasn't with her.

They traveled all day, and by nightfall, they had set up camp in forested neutral territory. Neither had much on them, but they still had enough food to last them into the next day, thank Etheria.

As Catra started a fire, Kyle pulled some supplies out of his knapsack. He tossed a blanket in Catra’s general direction, and she hissed.

“Kyle, there's a fire! Don't throw a blanket near a fire!” she snarled.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said.

Catra reached for the blanket and froze.

It was Adora’s blanket. Catra remembered curling up next to Adora, feeling safe and loved. Feeling _happy_. She wrapped the blanket around herself, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

The two ate in silence until Kyle dared to make another attempt at conversation.

“Catra,” he said hesitantly, “how exactly do we plan to rescue the Queen from between realities? It just sounds, y’know, kind of... impossible.”

“First off, _we _aren't planning anything. You can come with me for now, but when I rescue Angella, I'm going alone.” Catra sighed. “Second… I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it.”

“I guess Entrapta could probably help _us_," Kyle suggested, ignoring her insistence about doing it alone.

She winced. “I… think I heard a noise. I'm gonna go check it out, yeah.”

“Really? I didn't hear anything.”

“Well, I did,” Catra lied. She stood up and walked away from the fire, blanket still wrapped around her.

After taking a moment to get her emotions in check, she turned around and headed back. “Guess it was nothing.”

Just then, there was a rustling in the brush. Catra and Kyle both turned.

Lonnie pushed through the brush, bag hanging off one shoulder. She had scratches on her arms and face, and her hair was tousled.

Truthfully, Catra found her hot as fuck.

“You guys are so easy to track,” Lonnie said, setting her bag by the fire. “We better hope there isn't anyone after you.”

“_We_?” Catra asked, eyebrow raised.

“I'm joining this little crew here. Got no real reason to stay at the Fright Zone with both Force Captains and a teammate gone.”

“Both Force Captains?” Catra asked. “Scorpia’s gone too?”

Lonnie nodded. “She left a note saying she was off looking for you. I would’ve gone with her, but she was long gone by the time I realized she'd left. So I set off and tracked Kyle to Bright Moon, and both of y'all here.”

Catra felt guilt creep through her. Even after how she'd treated Scorpia, she was still out looking for her. She was too devoted for her own good.

“You got ration bars?” Catra asked, trying to mask her emotions. Thankfully, neither Kyle nor Lonnie seemed to notice anything wrong.

“Yep. Enough to last us at least a few days. It was all I could take without being noticed.”

Kyle yawned. “Well, you two can discuss plans and stuff. I'm gonna get some sleep.”

“Fine,” Catra said. “Lonnie and I will take the first two watches. But you're getting up for a watch after.”

Kyle nodded and took his blanket over to a bed of moss. It didn't take very long for his breathing to even out.

Catra and Lonnie stared at the dwindling fire for a while, avoiding looking at each other.

“I'm sorry,” Lonnie said suddenly. “About Adora. I should've said that at the beginning.”

Catra shook her head. “It's fine.”

Despite her best efforts, she wasn't able to completely mask her pain, and she felt Lonnie’s arm brush against hers.

“It's not,” Lonnie said quietly. Catra could feel her gaze on her, and she looked up tentatively.

Lonnie’s bronze skin glowed in the light from the fire. Her eyes burned with a fierce intensity, and Catra noticed them flit down to her lips and back up.

There was a moment of stillness, and then they were all over each other, lips pressed together, hands places that no one had touched before.

No one except for Adora.

Catra pushed that from her mind, and gripped Lonnie fiercely, trailing kisses down her neck.

There was nothing romantic about it-- it was purely sexual, fulfilling needs that Catra hadn't bothered to deal with in so long. Lonnie was hot, and she was right there, and Catra needed a distraction from all the pain she was feeling, so how could she resist?

Lonnie was touching Catra in ways that had been reserved for Adora before, and Catra didn't care at all. What did Adora matter, anyway?

(Everything, of course.)

It was rough, and far from romantic, and Catra loved it. She loved touching Lonnie, feeling Lonnie touch her-- all of it.

Afterward, they both lay on the cool ground, breathing heavily. Eventually, Catra plucked up the courage to speak.

“That wasn't… that was just—" she began, but Lonnie cut her off.

“I know. It didn't mean anything. You love Adora.”

Catra didn't say anything. Lonnie was right, of course. She would just never admit it.

“It's fine. That's the way I like it,” Lonnie said.

They stayed silent again for a while, until Catra got up and said, “I'm going to wake Kyle up for his watch.”

*

As Catra lay under Adora's blanket, trying to sleep, her thoughts raced. Lonnie, Adora, Scorpia. Shadow Weaver. Angella. Finally, as Kyle’s watch ended and Lonnie took over, Catra managed to fall into a restless sleep.

Adora was in her dreams.

Of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Please suggest any characters you want to see, especially those who are underrated or don't get much screen time. For those of you who have already suggested characters, I'll do my best to bring them in at some point.
> 
> Take care of yourself, dear reader.
> 
> -R


	4. not an update-- just some memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I sorry for not updating my fanfic? Yes.  
Am I going to update my fanfic before tomorrow afternoon? No.  
Sorry y'all. Here are some memes I made for while you're waiting.

here's the link to them on my fake account's google doc bc I don't know what I'm doing with this site's controls:

[memes here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-EN4-XKtPdVOgpr2Yl8UwSbu6rwgW1IBvgQCGYtYO5U)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorryyyyyyyyyyy.
> 
> ACTUAL Chapter 4 hopefully coming soon.
> 
> -R


	5. I’m back!

So... I disappeared for a while. I lost inspiration, and then when season four came out, I basically gave up. Writing canon divergent fanfic scares me, especially when I love the canon. (I loved season five so much 🥺.)

BUT! I recently got this really sweet and supportive comment. And I remembered that while I didn’t have the biggest following, there were definitely people who were invested. I also thought about the pain of reading unfinished fanfic. And so, I’m back to work.

Anyone who’s still interested, I’m back! And I hope I can give you the content you deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the support 🥺🥺🥺


	6. The Crimson Waste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if my style has changed or anything, since it's been so long.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Catra awoke to early morning light. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Morning,” Lonnie said with a yawn. Catra glanced over, feeling no emotion toward her whatsoever. It was a strange sensation, considering what had happened the night before.

“Yeah. Morning.” Catra stood up and walked over to Kyle. She leaned down next to him. “Hey. Dude. Wake up.”

He didn’t stir. Catra sighed and began gently shaking him. Finally, his eyes opened.

“Ah! Hi, Catra!” he said, startled. “...Can I go back to sleep?”

“No,” she snarled. “Not if you insist on tagging along.” Lonnie snickered in the background, and Catra shot her a quick glare.

“Look, Kyle,” Catra said kindly, “if you don’t get up… we’ll leave you here. And you’ll probably die. So get. Your ass. Up.”

Kyle groaned, but he did so, slowly getting up. Lonnie picked up their belongings and dealt with the remnants of the fire, while Catra glanced around, looking for threats. Or more annoying idiots attempting to join in.

“Okay, let’s head out,” Catra said after they'd completed their tasks.

“Where to?” Lonnie asked. 

Catra growled loudly as she started to walk off. “Were you not listening? Or did you somehow forget something so important?”

“Well, that was uncalled for. Don't be a bitch–” Catra suddenly whirled around, looking ready to do something quite violent. Kyle jumped between them quickly.

“Catra!” he squeaked. As her glare turned on him, he quickly stammered, “You, uh, Lonnie—she wasn't here when you said where.”

“Oh,” Catra said somewhat awkwardly. Quickly regaining her composure, she looked at Lonnie and snapped, “You should’ve said that.”

“Well, I was going to–” Lonnie started angrily. She was quickly interrupted by Kyle.

“Okay, both of you, STOP. This is not helping anyone. We need to get moving.” 

Both were shocked into silence, gaping at Kyle. Assertiveness was incredibly out of character for him.

“Oh. Wait, that was—sorry! Forget that!” Kyle quickly returned to his weak demeanor.

“Shut up,” Lonnie said. “Don’t apologize. You just acted like something other than a wimp for the first time in your life. Don’t fucking ruin it.”

“Yeah, for once I agree with Lonnie. You’re basically useless no matter what, but maybe you’d be able to hold off any threats long enough for me to get by,” Catra added.

“Wait, you think I’d be able to do that?” he exclaimed, eyes shining.

“That’s not a compliment,” Lonnie said as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, okay,” Catra interrupted. “We’re going to the Crimson Waste. Let’s head out.”

The odd crew departed, and it wasn't long before they could see the deserted terrain in the distance. They carefully made their way through the Waste, Catra leading them to Mara’s ship. 

Catra found herself lost in the memories of what had happened here. How she was given a chance to be happy... and how she threw it away. There was so much in play with that decision. 

Shadow Weaver had used and betrayed her, not giving a second thought to what would happen to her when Hordak found out. She hadn't cared, even though she must have known Catra would be tortured or killed.

Shadow Weaver had left the Fright Zone for Adora. She had come back for Adora. 

It was always Adora.

“Catra?” Kyle’s voice interrupted Catra’s racing thoughts. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” she said gruffly, not bothering to be snarky for once. She looked up and saw the ship in the distance. “We’re almost there.”

They heard voices from inside the ship. Catra groaned. She had not wanted to deal with people. Sure, as far as she knew they would still be at least partially loyal to her, but that didn't stop her irritation at the existence of other living beings. Two were more than enough.

“Wow. I… I mean, I know you said this place wasn’t actually abandoned, but it's weird to… _ hear voices_,” Kyle commented, glancing around, eyes wide.__

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“Not any weirder than actually being here,” Lonnie said. “Anyway, Catra, are you sure people are still gonna be loyal to you?”

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_ Not really. _“Pfft, of course they're still going to be loyal to me. In one day I conquered this place,” Catra said confidently and not at all considering the consequences if she had to eat her words.__

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She entered the ship first. The two people inside looked up. 

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“Who—oh! Catra,” one said. “Didn't know if you’d come back. Didn't really think so, considering you seemed hellbent on doing… something away from here.”

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“Yeah. You sticking around this time?” the other asked.

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“Not for too long,” Catra replied. “Anyway, I want this place for myself, so get out.”

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The two looked rather disgruntled, but they did as she said. 

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“Oh, and don't hurt the two outside. Tell them they can come in,” she added.

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A moment later, Lonnie and Kyle joined Catra in the ship. Kyle sidled up next to Catra. She pulled away and hissed at him.

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“What is wrong with you?” she snarled.

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“Sooo, you didn't want them to hurt us?” Kyle said with an annoyingly gleeful smile. “That's nice of you.”

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“Do NOT take that the wrong way. It was _ not _ because I like you two. It was just because if you're going to insist on joining me, you being injured would be a burden to me.” She paused. “Wait, how did you even know I said that?”__

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“They were all, _Oh, if Catra hadn't told us not to hurt you, you outsiders would be dead meat_."__

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“Assholes,” Catra muttered. Now Kyle thought she cared, and it was extremely irritating.

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Lonnie set their things down and began to look around the ship while Kyle sat down in the pilot’s seat. Catra was doing her signature move of attempting to ignore her intense emotions.

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Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

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The last time she had been here… she didn’t even want to think about it. But her brain had no regard for her personal feelings, and it bombarded her with those memories anyway.

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“This is the happiest I’ve ever seen you. Scratch that—this is the first time I’ve ever seen you happy, period.”

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Scorpia’s words echoed in her head. She had been happy. For the first time since Adora left. But of course she couldn’t let that last. Of course she had thrown it all away, because she couldn’t be happy without Adora, and she would never be able to be happy with Adora again.

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If it weren’t for that, Catra might have even let Adora go. Maybe she would have let Adora leave to defeat the Horde, while she stayed and made the Crimson Waste her new home. 

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But because she knew she could never be happy again, she’d checked on Adora.

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And because she checked on Adora, she found out about Shadow Weaver. 

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And that… well, that had led to a horrible series of events. A series of events that had destroyed any chance of Catra’s life ever being anything but a nightmare. 

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Yes, she knew deep down that it was her fault. 

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“I didn’t make you pull the switch! I didn’t make you do anything!”

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Adora was right. It didn’t take a genius to see it. But it took someone with more emotional stability than Catra to accept it.

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Her broken mind always had to blame someone else. It was a bad habit, but she couldn't even accept that she had it, let alone break it. 

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“So, Catra,” Kyle said, bringing her back to the present. “This is cool. Nice. Good… Can we talk?”

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Catra did not follow his train of thought at all. How he went from “cool” to “can we talk?” was beyond her, but whatever, it didn’t really matter.

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“No,” she said sharply.

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“Why not?”

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“I said no.”

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“Catra, please.”

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No response.

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Kyle sighed, getting up from the seat and dropping to his knees. He clasped his hands together and pleaded, “_Please. _ I want to talk to you.”__

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“God, you're pathetic…” she muttered. “_Fine. _ Now talk.”__

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“Um… actually, I, uh, was kinda hoping to talk to you in private?” 

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Lonnie started walking out of the ship. “Yeah, go ahead, you two. I want to check out the area anyway.”

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Catra glared at her before turning her sharp gaze on Kyle. He winced. 

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“...Can we talk about Adora?”

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not sure whether I should publish chapters as I finish them or write a few at a time and (hopefully) have a more regular posting schedule. Please tell me your opinions!
> 
> Thank you <3


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